Suggestion for All "Action-Adventure" Movies

Recently my husband and I watched, on Netflix, an old movie called “Casino Royale.” I had mentioned to him (I forget in what context) during dinner that I had never seen a James Bond movie. Tim was scandalized, and we repaired to the livingroom to watch Daniel Craig driving, shooting, fighting and playing poker. Nearly three hours later, it mercifully ended. (The movie, not our marriage.) Tim thoroughly enjoyed it, and sat another 20 minutes watching the credits.

As for me: I’m proud to say that I had heroically stayed awake for some of it.

The experience, though, gave me an idea that I hope will be implemented by producers of movies of the kind that are usually called “Action-Adventure.” It would save them millions in production costs and bless viewers with many free hours in which they can do more interesting and useful things, like working on the Wordle, or sleeping.

Here it is: Instead of filming scenes of the Good Guy jumping from one rooftop to another, or running to the end of a steel I-beam that’s being swung to the top of a skyscraper and leaping off only to land unharmed in a dumpster that apparently is filled with feathers or pillows or feather-pillows, or being shot at by the Bad Guy who keeps missing until the Good Guy finally falls and lands, oddly, on his back but gets off a clever line while the Bad Guy, snearing, goes to shoot him while standing practically right over him but it turns out he’s out of bullets so he just throws his gun at the Good Guy but the Good Guy rolls away so now it’s a fair fight … instead of all these, movies should just stop and instead put onscreen the words, “[“FIGHT ENSUES. GOOD GUY WINS/LOSES.” or, “CHASE ENSUES. AFTER MUCH CLINGING TO ROOFTOPS, HANGING FROM PLANES’ LANDING GEAR, FALLING INTO DUMPSTERS, NEARLY DRIVING INTO AMBULANCES OR INTO PLANES ON RUNWAY OR INTO WOMEN PUSHING STROLLERS, AND AFTER CAUSING MANY NOISY CRASHES, FIRES AND EXPLOSIONS, BAD GUY ESCAPES/IS CAUGHT.”] What do you say, producers? You can have a little soft music while this screen is shown, or not — your choice!

Here the movie can resume, with 90% of the cliches, 70% of the production expenses and half the running time excised from it. And to the world’s moviemakers and movie goers, I now say: You’re welcome.