Eulogy for Judy

Several people have asked me recently if they could have a copy of the words i spoke at the Transition Service for Judy Kennedy on Thursday, April 18th. i wrote it out, and here it is:

The life of Newburgh’s Mayor Judy Kennedy can be defined by the one word it revolved around: The word is LOVE. I remember when she invited me to join, with a dozen or so pastors in the city, a group that wanted to move the city forward together, by each one promising to exhort his or her own congregation to build, clean up, care for and watch over their own neighborhood or their own block. They tried to think of a name for themselves and finally Judy came up with the idea of “Let Our Victory Emerge” –or something like that – anyway, the acronym was: LOVE. It was the Love Group. Of all the umpteen nonprofit, ad-hoc groups that have come and gone in this city, that was my personal favorite.

Judy read and became absolutely fixated on a book called “The 4 Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz. Is there anyone in Newburgh to whom she didn’t quote from that book? She gave it to friends and colleagues and read from it many times at City Council meetings. The 4 Agreements are so simple, we probably all have them memorized: 1. Be impeccable with your word; 2. Don’t take anything personally; 3. Don’t make assumptions; and 4. Always do your best. Those are great examples of things that are simple, but not easy. Judy continually tried to live by them.

“The 4 Agreements” ends with a section called a “Prayer for Love.” In this “prayer,” an “old man” is speaking of his “teacher,” and I take that “teacher” to be G-d. The “old man” in the prayer says of his teacher that he “took a beautiful flame from his heart and opened my chest and put that little flame inside it … I felt intense love, because the flame he put in my heart was his own love. It was a fire that doesn’t burn, but purifies everything it touches. And that fire touched each of the molecules in my body, and every emotion of my mind, and all those emotions transformed into an intense love  … But the fire kept burning and I had to share my love. I decided to put a little piece of my love in every tree, in every flower, in the grass, in the earth, and in every animal in the world, and they loved me back. I put a piece of my love in every crystal, every stone, in the dirt, in the metals, in the oceans, the rivers, the rain and the snow. And still my love grew more and more. I decided to give my love to the air and the wind, and I turned my head to the sky, and put a little piece of my love in the moon, the sun, the stars, and they loved me back. And I put a little piece of my love in every human, and now wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am a part of everything, because I love.”

Love, most of all, was what Judy celebrated and what she promoted. Of all her official duties as Mayor, the one she delighted in most of all was performing weddings. Judy believed in love, and she still believed in that now old-fashioned procedure of calling your dearest family members and friends together and making them listen-up – in effect, swearing on your relationship with them --  and saying right out loud that you will honor and support and be true to this person financially and emotionally and physically, in sickness and in health, and you will love this person until death parts you. Not that you won’t disagree, and not that you won’t change, but that you will love this one forever. She told me about one wedding she performed at City Hall where the happy couple arrived at three pm, and she had to leave at four. They put a little wedding cake on the big table in her big office … and they waited. And waited. And waited. It seems the two people who were to be their sort of “wedding party” had been delayed. Judy reminded them that she had to leave at four. At 3:30, after some frantic phone calling, they told her that these two people would be there in 15 minutes. Twenty-five minutes later, they still weren’t there, and it was now five of four. Judy asked them if they had the ring. They said yes. And she said, “OK, this is a great lesson for you. Marriage doesn’t always go the way you want it to and things don’t always turn out the way you planned, but you can still make it work. And you might as well learn that right at the start.” And then and there, she performed the ceremony, they all had a piece of cake and so far (so far as I know), lived happily ever after.

And now death has parted us from Judy. But not from her spirit; not from her love, for her molecules have now dissolved and enveloped all of us, and she has become love itself. Today we each have a little piece of her love in us. Be in touch with that love today, treasure it, and please, let it help you guide your way on.